The Secret to Self Confidence

So here we have our first ever guest blog post! We have decided we want to use the Project Plan platform to help as many of you as possible with topics ranging from mindset to crafting to organisation. We want to make the Project Plan blog the hub for our community. We have some amazing experts lined up who will be sharing their knowledge right here on the blog! 


Today we have a post from the wonderful Kimberley Abraham. Kimberley is super passionate about wellbeing and as this is something we believe to be so important here at Project Plan, we had to have her on the blog! Today Kimberley is sharing the secret to self confidence...

Written By Kimberley Abraham

Would you say you are someone who is self-confident?

Picture yourself as self-confident what does that look like? How important
is self-confidence to you?

What if I told you, you can and will have self-confidence, would that feel
far away from the truth?

If this answer is yes, then you my friend are in exactly the right place in
this moment because I am going to walk you through it.

If you feel like self-confidence is so far away from your reach, there is
an important piece in the puzzle that you are missing and that is
self-confidence is a FEELING not a destination or a result.

I used to think that self-confidence meant I had to strut into my work
meetings with my head held high, get up Infront of my work colleagues and
speak without fear.  Then I had to come home and be 100% confident in all
the parenting and relationship decisions I was making and juggle like a
pro, and then be able to brag to all my friends about how I had my shizzle
together. Then on top of that I would have to rock my size 10 jeans without
a muffin top, with my hair looking like the Pantene ads and my make up
insta perfect. Then after all that I would feel self-confident. But the
feeling just never came. What came was exhaustion and no wonder.

Basically, the picture I painted for myself of self-confidence was a
mish-mash of what I had seen, read about and heard from others, and I never
thought to questions this, until my exhaustion and my illness and mood left
me with no other option but to question my actions and why I was striving
to be something I was not.  I was so sick of trying and coming up short and
I decided to just show up as my best imperfect self and that I was good
enough, just as I was.

Once I discovered this was the path for me one day out of the blue a
strange feeling happened in my body. I just felt completely like myself,
with no need to explain my choices or decisions to anyone but myself and I
identified this feeling as self-confidence.  I questioned it but wait, how
can this be?  I still hate speaking in front of people, I do not have my
home life 100% together and I no longer fit my size 10 jeans, in fact I
have moved to the stretchy band jeans without the buttons. Oh, that’s right
I had already decided that I was good enough as I was and the good enough
turned into, I am pretty great and the I am pretty great turned into
self-confidence.  Now this is not normal in our society you might be judged
as a tall poppy or up yourself if you love yourself, but when you are
authentic and true to yourself, you can brush those people off as not your

Sound a little too good to be true from where you are at the moment?
That’s ok I get it. So, I am going to let you in on my secret and what lead
me to this feeling of self-confidence and that my friend was
self-curiosity. To gain self-confidence, first you need to find out who you
are, confidence happens through the actions we take toward finding the
truest version of ourselves. When we do this, it reminds us that we are
ever evolving at that our self-confidence is a feeling, and because it is a
feeling it will come and go.  But when we stay curious, we get confident
with the parts of our self that are so true and we no longer feel like we
have to live up to other people’s perceptions of self-confidence, or any
other expectations or perceptions they force on you.

Self-curiosity is an action, an action that we take to find out what are
our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, our values and
purpose. When we get curious about our habits and actions and why we do
certain things, it leads to self-discovery and growth.  It really is about
taking the time to get to know yourself.  I know as a busy mum you can feel
lost with this and feel like you have no confidence and you are almost
afraid to put your true self out into the world.  But I can tell you
something, it is so much easier than having to put on a front or pretend to
be someone you are not.  That is exhausting and a massive waste of energy.

Do not be afraid to be imperfect, when you feel like some or something is
calling for you to be confident, how about call up courage and authenticity
instead.  Trust me, they are values that we can depend upon time and time
again and they are not fleeting like self-confidence. Remember it is a
feeling that comes and goes.

Yes, you will experience self-confidence, it is a part of your human
experience.  You probably already are experiencing it in your daily life,
you just do not acknowledge it.  Think of something you are super good at
and you will be able to summon up that self-confidence feeling like a pro.

Notice how this self-confidence feeling is present in some areas of your
life and missing in others.  You do not lack self-confidence as a person
you lack self-confidence in certain actions you want to take so I want you
to have a think about the areas of your life where you are struggling with
self-confidence and why?  Because this is the time, lovely lady to call on
your self-curiosity and really ask yourself some questions. Maybe you are
not very confident in your job, could it be that you need to work on
building or learning some additional skills, or are you just in the wrong
line of work? Maybe you are not very confident in your relationship or
parenting, where are you struggling in this area and why, and what can you
do about it?

Once you start to use self-curiosity as a tool and ask yourself questions
every day, you will find there are some changes you want to make in your
life to be more in line with who you want to be.

This is exactly the point where people come to me and say I am stuck, I
have no self-confidence.  Do not for one moment think you need to have
self-confidence, to start making changes in your life.  Otherwise, you will
100% be stuck.  There are so many more helpful feelings and emotions that
you can use to propel yourself forward with the changes that you need to
make, and the journey will be so much more rewarding, and the feeling of
self confidence will show up every now and again too.

Remember life is a journey and every step you take will have a lesson and
your job is to get curious about what life is trying to teach you and to
bring your most authentic self to the world.  Everyday this is your life
work and everyday you will experience all kinds of different emotions and
have to pull on many different values to help you though.  So do not wait
for a certain emotion or feeling to show up, take the next best step and
learn the next lesson.

As always, I will leave you with a beautiful quote to inspire your journey
of self-curiosity.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

Kim xx
If you would like to find out more about Kimberley please do take a look at her Instagram-


We really hope you have enjoyed reading this wonderful post from Kimberley! Please do come and let us know your thoughts over on our social media! We would love to hear from you! 

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

You may also like

View all
Example blog post
Example blog post
Example blog post